You are SO going on my reading list. I hadn’t yet put my dissect the visual quotes and shorthand stereotypes ‘glasses’ to disability in visual media far less disability as horror theme.

Granted horror isn’t my thing, but I’ve seen my own invisible disability used in similar fashion, time and time again and being enraged, I think, never thought of dissecting how disability is played for fright (vs drama) in the media.

*goes to read your comments now*

I…. that…. WHAT THE FUCK.

hugs April

I was assigned a school psychologist and a special education teacher who would collectively see me for about two hours a day. The psychologist was okay, she was friendly and kind enough to me. I saw her so that we could work on my ability to socialize with my peers. To be quite honest, I didn’t get much from this experience and mostly felt demeaned because I was missing classes to basically play board games. But that’s not the issue.

The issue was with my special education teacher. I was sent there so that I’d have help with my studies and my success in school because I had a tendency to hyperfocus on only one or two things which were my special areas of interest at the expense of many of my classes. To say that she was abusive would be like saying pins are sharp.

One of the things she was supposed to help me with was organization. What she would do would be to force me to dig though my backpack. I used to draw a lot, she’d take my drawings, crumple them up and call them “trash” and “garbage.” She’d constantly tell me how awful, “piggish,” “a slob” or other such things while she tore apart my things.

When she was done with that, she’d place me in a cubicle, tell me to do my work and forbid me from getting up, fidgeting in my chair, or looking up or to the side. If I looked at the teacher to ask her a question she would get a menacing voice and threaten me to get back to work. If I looked up, to the side, or shifted in my seat I would be told I was “stupid,” “incompetent,” “completely incapable of following the simplest of instructions,” “idiot,” ect…

I’d like to put the previous paragraph in a bit of context. I had been diagnosed as having scoliosis earlier that year. Sitting at a desk with my head down towards my work without moving for an hour was, and still is, physically painful for me. In addition, oftentimes I didn’t have any control over my actions. The “self stims” that had been misdiagnosed, and I believe she was trying to “cure me of”, would be later diagnosed as comorbid Tourette’s syndrome.

She would physically dig her nails into my arms or push me around.

When other adults or non special ed children entered the room, she’d immediately change her personality. Only behind closed doors would she hurt us. I believe she knew exactly what she was doing and I believe she knew what she was doing was WRONG.

Because of what she did, I still have flashback and triggers I get every time I’m in similar situations. I still can not really think about institutional mental healthcare because it brings back thoughts of that class in middle school.

So thanks for helping tell this story. And thanks for letting me tell my story, I don’t get a lot of venues I’m able to share it in. We really need to do something major about *all* of our mental healthcare institutions and what people don’t understand is that for children with mental disabilities that includes the public school system.

Oh, this was in the late 1990’s.

Alex shouldnt have to be a strong a kid as he is already.

(Honestly, it wouldn’t be nearly so bad if they actually used a service that had enough sound fidelity for consonants to be intelligible to me… seriously, it’s like the opposite of trying to decipher disemvowelled blog comments.)

As many people as possible need to know about this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/nov/01/father-life-support-baby-court

How can people decide someone else’s life isn’t worth living?